Sex educator hits the J-Spot

Sex, enjoying it and the politics of it were all discussed by "sexpert" Jay Friedman Tuesday in Ritsche Auditorium.

"Sex is fun to talk about, and it's OK to laugh while talking about it," Friedman said.

Friedman's lecture performance, "The J-Spot: A Sex Educator Tells All," highlighted sex education, the differences between men and women and the politics of sex education in the United States.

"We have a natural desire to learn about sex, and furthermore, we have a natural desire to enjoy sex," Friedman said.

Answering questions like "When is the right time to have sex?" Friedman also gave tips and advice about having better sex.

"We are all sexual beings from our birth 'til our death, from the womb to the tomb, and our sexual learning is lifelong as well," he said.

Friedman said one problem in America is "most of us don't get good information about sex, even when we're grown up."

He described his first information on sex being from "National Geographic" magazines and the Sears catalog.

"We turn where we can when we're desperate," he said.

Punctuating his lecture with words that encouraged audience participation and response, when Friedman said, "Sex is good," cheers and applause from the audience followed.

"It's what we learn about sex that's not so good," he said.

He also described his experience in high school seeing the "VD movie," which depicted the effects of venereal diseases.

"It was a scare tactic approach to sex, to scare us from ever wanting to do it for the rest of our lives." Friedman said. "That doesn't work. Instead, it leaves us ignorant and confused."

Discussing the state of sex education, Friedman said the United States has the highest rate of teen pregnancy of any developed country.

Friedman also compared the United States' sex education programs with that of other countries with a controversial film from Scandinavia.

The film, made for middle school students, featured an animated male and female who explained sex education information explicitly.

The openness about sex in countries like Sweden and Denmark contributes to lower rates of unwanted pregnancies, sexual assault and STDs, according to Friedman.

Friedman's advice for students also featured the three A's for the right time to have sex.

"It is the right time when you can affirm the other person, when you can accept responsibility and when you can assure mutual pleasure," Friedman said.

He addressed the pressures men face in regard to sex including locker room talk, homophobia and the myth of "blue balls."

"If guys' claims that they'll explode were true, you'd hear explosions all over this campus every night," Friedman said. "It would be like the Fourth of July in October."

Comparing men to microwave ovens and women to crock pots, Friedman explained male and female sexual arousal by acting out a make-believe graph.

Friedman said he has a tendency to cause controversy, as some have called him "an agent of the devil, a recovering hippie with perverted ways and one of the most dangerous people in society stimulating students into a state of erotic frenzy."

Students for Consensual Consent were aware of this, according to its chair and SCSU junior Amber Michel.

"Our goal was to start a conversation on campus that is not currently happening: one that is positive, open and honest about healthy sexuality," Michel said. "Frankly, we wanted to ruffle a few feathers and get people excited."

The audience, which filled most of Ritsche Auditorium's 1,000 seats, laughed, gasped and grabbed free condoms provided by Student Health Services.

"I had to refill them three times," Michel said.

Michel also said she was thrilled about the turnout, which consisted of students coming for a class, athletes and others who just wanted to see what Friedman was about.

"He had really good points about the U.S. being so repressive about sex education," said Hannah Molitor, an SCSU senior. "I'm a health major and would like to be a health educator one day."

Molitor said her favorite part was getting to learn how other countries deal with sex education, the statistics and "of course, the video."

Friedman's speech was part one of the "Good Sex Series" brought by Students for Sexual Consent.

It was co-sponsored by SCSU Intercollegiate Athletic Department, the Health Promotion Department and the Women's Center.

The next speaker is Jane Caputie on "The Pornography of Everyday Life" which includes a showing and discussion of the documentary at 2 and 5 p.m. Nov. 5 in the Atwood Theater and Voyageur Room, respectively.