2008 Woodie Awards
People are full of wrong
Andy Downs
Issue date: 7/9/07 Section: Opinions
When I look around and see the ridiculous things going on all over the world, I sometimes wonder how mankind hasn't simply died off or killed each other out of sheer stupidity and insanity.
Last week, in the good old flag-waving state of Alabama, small town police in Orange Beach saw the most action they've seen since the Klan rally they (assumingly) attended the week before when a highway chase unraveled before their attentive eyes.
A blazingly fast Monte Carlo blew past them at speeds exceeding 100 m.p.h.
The hillbilly hogs tore after the car, and after a healthy little chase, the car flipped and came to a halt. But when the first officer approached the vehicle to apprehend the miserable fool, he was shocked and surprised at what he found.
The high-speed culprit was none other than a drunk 11-year-old girl.
Well, I'll be damned.
Should this be any sort of surprise for the likes of Alabama and its gloomy history of white supremacist, slave-driving, confederate flag-waving drunk backcountry hicks?
I hardly think so.
But still, for a society that has done all the good things it has and for how smart and technologically advanced man has become, I'm left asking myself - what the hell?
For other news of the strange and weird this week, look overseas to Belgium.
A woman was invited to a pleasant little dinner party by a friendly little Belgian man expecting crepes or waffles, but instead got a plateful of wife and kid.
The woman was putting leftovers away in the host's freezer when she found the bodies of his 46-year-old wife and 11-year-old son.
Since the poor-planning Hannibal Lector wannabe was arrested, he hasn't admitted to the crimes, but noted the couple argued frequently.
Sounds like a promising alibi.
The poor fool should have thought things through a little better before - besides the whole murder thing - inviting guests over for a dinner party where even the possibility of guests opening his freezer/homemade cemetery existed.
Last week, in the good old flag-waving state of Alabama, small town police in Orange Beach saw the most action they've seen since the Klan rally they (assumingly) attended the week before when a highway chase unraveled before their attentive eyes.
A blazingly fast Monte Carlo blew past them at speeds exceeding 100 m.p.h.
The hillbilly hogs tore after the car, and after a healthy little chase, the car flipped and came to a halt. But when the first officer approached the vehicle to apprehend the miserable fool, he was shocked and surprised at what he found.
The high-speed culprit was none other than a drunk 11-year-old girl.
Well, I'll be damned.
Should this be any sort of surprise for the likes of Alabama and its gloomy history of white supremacist, slave-driving, confederate flag-waving drunk backcountry hicks?
I hardly think so.
But still, for a society that has done all the good things it has and for how smart and technologically advanced man has become, I'm left asking myself - what the hell?
For other news of the strange and weird this week, look overseas to Belgium.
A woman was invited to a pleasant little dinner party by a friendly little Belgian man expecting crepes or waffles, but instead got a plateful of wife and kid.
The woman was putting leftovers away in the host's freezer when she found the bodies of his 46-year-old wife and 11-year-old son.
Since the poor-planning Hannibal Lector wannabe was arrested, he hasn't admitted to the crimes, but noted the couple argued frequently.
Sounds like a promising alibi.
The poor fool should have thought things through a little better before - besides the whole murder thing - inviting guests over for a dinner party where even the possibility of guests opening his freezer/homemade cemetery existed.