2008 Woodie Awards
Black bears cause panic
Andy Downs
Issue date: 9/10/07 Section: Opinions
- Page 1 of 2 next >
There is a serious problem plaguing our wooded areas and mountainous regions here in America.
Uber-liberal hippies, don't get all horned up yet-this isn't about global warming-its a much more personal, imminent threat.
I'm speaking of course, about bears.
Black bears.
Apparently the Wild West is facing a huge black bear problem this year, and people are running for the hills screaming in terror.
The burly beasts' berry and acorn crop has been cut short this year from a late freeze and drought, forcing the bears to aimlessly dwell through towns and private homes in search of delicious garbage.
Last year across the nation, there were 502 total human-bear encounters versus the 877 this year so far.
Colorado wildlife officers alone have killed 30 black bears this summer, while 29 have been killed by getting in the way of moving vehicles and 42 more by landowners and federal officials.
Do you have any idea what kind of damage a black bear can do to a car? A whole lot since the beast generally weighs between 200 and 600 pounds. In Florida alone, around 100 of them are hit by cars yearly.
With all these bear slayings, we could beat 2002's record of 404 bear murders.
These horrible nuisances have been hounding and foraging through our waste since before America was deemed "America" by European settlers.
Estimates say that before the ships sailed and the rightful land-owning natives were slaughtered, there were more than two million black bears causing trouble from sea to shining sea.
Now their numbers stir around 800,000, which according to some, is too many.
The thing about black bears is they aren't fooled by the classic bear defense of "playing dead" when being attacked like a grizzly bear would.
Grizzly bears usually only attack humans in defense, whereas black bears attack humans in the predatory sense.
This is all the more uncomforting when I throw in the fact that a single blow from a black bear's paw can break the neck of an adult elk.
Uber-liberal hippies, don't get all horned up yet-this isn't about global warming-its a much more personal, imminent threat.
I'm speaking of course, about bears.
Black bears.
Apparently the Wild West is facing a huge black bear problem this year, and people are running for the hills screaming in terror.
The burly beasts' berry and acorn crop has been cut short this year from a late freeze and drought, forcing the bears to aimlessly dwell through towns and private homes in search of delicious garbage.
Last year across the nation, there were 502 total human-bear encounters versus the 877 this year so far.
Colorado wildlife officers alone have killed 30 black bears this summer, while 29 have been killed by getting in the way of moving vehicles and 42 more by landowners and federal officials.
Do you have any idea what kind of damage a black bear can do to a car? A whole lot since the beast generally weighs between 200 and 600 pounds. In Florida alone, around 100 of them are hit by cars yearly.
With all these bear slayings, we could beat 2002's record of 404 bear murders.
These horrible nuisances have been hounding and foraging through our waste since before America was deemed "America" by European settlers.
Estimates say that before the ships sailed and the rightful land-owning natives were slaughtered, there were more than two million black bears causing trouble from sea to shining sea.
Now their numbers stir around 800,000, which according to some, is too many.
The thing about black bears is they aren't fooled by the classic bear defense of "playing dead" when being attacked like a grizzly bear would.
Grizzly bears usually only attack humans in defense, whereas black bears attack humans in the predatory sense.
This is all the more uncomforting when I throw in the fact that a single blow from a black bear's paw can break the neck of an adult elk.