2008 Woodie Awards
Science 'sees' elderly sight
Andy Downs
Issue date: 9/13/07 Section: Opinions
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Ever been afraid of getting so old you are ridiculed for driving like a complete ass, can't walk with your own two legs, give infants and teenagers "the finger" for no reason, can't get up quick enough when you feel the urge to expel your bowels and can't see a damn thing in front of you?
Yeah, me too. But don't fret, because new research from a bunch of people in white lab coats playing with food have recently found a way to discard at least one of those fears.
No, it isn't diapers or robot legs or a Lexus that does just about everything besides wipe your ass; they've shockingly discovered that certain food - namely broccoli, zucchini, spinach, corn and eggs - can prevent old people blindness (better known as age-related macular degeneration).
All these things have a substance which helps the eyes keep seeing when they no longer want to.
But it won't help you now unless you're pushing 60, so if you're looking for that perfect gift for your hard-to-buy-for grandma, head to the produce section at Super One and get her a basket of sight.
Yeah, me too. But don't fret, because new research from a bunch of people in white lab coats playing with food have recently found a way to discard at least one of those fears.
No, it isn't diapers or robot legs or a Lexus that does just about everything besides wipe your ass; they've shockingly discovered that certain food - namely broccoli, zucchini, spinach, corn and eggs - can prevent old people blindness (better known as age-related macular degeneration).
All these things have a substance which helps the eyes keep seeing when they no longer want to.
But it won't help you now unless you're pushing 60, so if you're looking for that perfect gift for your hard-to-buy-for grandma, head to the produce section at Super One and get her a basket of sight.