2008 Woodie Awards
'Future' upon us with lasers
Andy Downs
Issue date: 9/24/07 Section: Opinions
- Page 1 of 1
With every passing day, we get closer to the "future."
I'm not talking about tomorrow or 20 years from now, but the physical world with spaceships, hover boards, tight spandex jumpsuits and of course...lasers.
We're well on our way there with the overwhelming ease of acquiring a laser.
Everyone seems to have one, and nobody is safe from the damage they can cause.
Sure, it seems like you don't have to fear doctors or surgeons performing laser operations on you like mole removal or corrective eye surgery, but think again.
Be very afraid, because when you find a listing in the yellow pages for tattoo removal from some odd-looking fool with a suspicious professional title like "tattoo removist" or something like "tattoo-zapping laser assassin," chances are they are neither.
Chances are, they're going to shakily aim a gun that fires a bright beam of infrared heat at your ex-girlfriend's name in black ink on your skin and hold down the trigger until the smell of your own burning flesh fills your nostrils.
Or the gun isn't set to "tattoo eraser" setting, and they blast a hole clear through you.
So if anybody tells you they are going to use a laser of any sort for any procedure, make sure they are a real doctor. And they have a laser gun license.
If you think firearms are dangerous, wait until drive-bys are done with hover-cars and lasers.
I'm not talking about tomorrow or 20 years from now, but the physical world with spaceships, hover boards, tight spandex jumpsuits and of course...lasers.
We're well on our way there with the overwhelming ease of acquiring a laser.
Everyone seems to have one, and nobody is safe from the damage they can cause.
Sure, it seems like you don't have to fear doctors or surgeons performing laser operations on you like mole removal or corrective eye surgery, but think again.
Be very afraid, because when you find a listing in the yellow pages for tattoo removal from some odd-looking fool with a suspicious professional title like "tattoo removist" or something like "tattoo-zapping laser assassin," chances are they are neither.
Chances are, they're going to shakily aim a gun that fires a bright beam of infrared heat at your ex-girlfriend's name in black ink on your skin and hold down the trigger until the smell of your own burning flesh fills your nostrils.
Or the gun isn't set to "tattoo eraser" setting, and they blast a hole clear through you.
So if anybody tells you they are going to use a laser of any sort for any procedure, make sure they are a real doctor. And they have a laser gun license.
If you think firearms are dangerous, wait until drive-bys are done with hover-cars and lasers.