2008 Woodie Awards
Binge drinking is the new American norm
Andy Downs
Issue date: 11/15/07 Section: Opinions
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For those of you who drink or have consumed alcohol at some point in your life, try and think back to the most intoxicated night, day, morning or weekend-long blur you've ever had.
I know, it's probably hard to remember or pick out one single instance for all the puddles of booze-soaked people attending this alcoholic-producing institution we call a university, but try hard to utilize those remaining few brain cells you have left.
Got it yet? Good.
Whether you're a meat-head who pounded a case of Miller Lite via a series of beer-bongs and shotguns, or a naive freshman hussie who put down a liter of Bacardi Razz in order to impress an over-eager, hockey-playing bufoon, at some point throughout the night (or next morning), all that liquor won't agree with your body and you'll be left feeling like a gutted snow bird.
Or, you weren't so lucky and you pass out/blackout, your friend finds the freshie hopped up on Malibu and you're left all alone to die like Jimi Hendrix, unable to roll on your side to drain all the vomit clogging your airway.
Or maybe you're unlucky and stupid and you decide it's a good idea to get behind the wheel of your '94 Ford Probe and drive to the nearest Sonic in Mason City, Iowa for one of those tempting shakes or their other-worldly all-day breakfast menu and you total your car by colliding with an oncoming SUV, killing yourself, the other vehicle's driver and his pregnant wife on the way to the hospital to have their first child.
Don't get me wrong, I'm no angel or patron saint who hasn't drank more than I should or done things which I later regret, but hey, I'm still learning. Learning in steps, one gin and tonic at a time.
Something I have learned is making drunk decisions are selfish and most often, costly. Take this little diddy for instance: Over two-thirds of sexual assaults and date rapes are linked to alcohol.
Or the fact that alcohol kills six times more young people than all illicit drugs combined.
I know, it's probably hard to remember or pick out one single instance for all the puddles of booze-soaked people attending this alcoholic-producing institution we call a university, but try hard to utilize those remaining few brain cells you have left.
Got it yet? Good.
Whether you're a meat-head who pounded a case of Miller Lite via a series of beer-bongs and shotguns, or a naive freshman hussie who put down a liter of Bacardi Razz in order to impress an over-eager, hockey-playing bufoon, at some point throughout the night (or next morning), all that liquor won't agree with your body and you'll be left feeling like a gutted snow bird.
Or, you weren't so lucky and you pass out/blackout, your friend finds the freshie hopped up on Malibu and you're left all alone to die like Jimi Hendrix, unable to roll on your side to drain all the vomit clogging your airway.
Or maybe you're unlucky and stupid and you decide it's a good idea to get behind the wheel of your '94 Ford Probe and drive to the nearest Sonic in Mason City, Iowa for one of those tempting shakes or their other-worldly all-day breakfast menu and you total your car by colliding with an oncoming SUV, killing yourself, the other vehicle's driver and his pregnant wife on the way to the hospital to have their first child.
Don't get me wrong, I'm no angel or patron saint who hasn't drank more than I should or done things which I later regret, but hey, I'm still learning. Learning in steps, one gin and tonic at a time.
Something I have learned is making drunk decisions are selfish and most often, costly. Take this little diddy for instance: Over two-thirds of sexual assaults and date rapes are linked to alcohol.
Or the fact that alcohol kills six times more young people than all illicit drugs combined.