2008 Woodie Awards
Dreams of a different war
Paul Crawford
Issue date: 2/11/08 Section: Opinions
I had a dream the other night.
The year was 2050 and China replaced the United States as the biggest military and economic power in the world.
Ever since the end of "The Wars of Aggression" led by the United States, the American people had become relatively non-violent isolationists.
China was the greatest authority in the world and used its vast economic and military strength to enforce policies around the globe as they saw fit.
The American population didn't like that the Chinese government had such a direct influence on their lives, but they weren't about to go to war over it - a war they would surely lose.
Then, an American extremist on business in Shanghai strapped some highly explosive C4 to his chest and blew up the first 10 floors of the World Financial Center, resulting in the death of thousands of Chinese businesspeople.
Needless to say, the Chinese government felt the safety of their people was being threatened by Christo-fascist extremists. They vowed to capture and kill every Christian terrorist on the face of the Earth.
So, China invaded the United States, overthrew their government, tortured and killed their citizens and occupied America until they could install a new pro-China government.
Meanwhile, stories were being published in Beijing that said the Chinese military was a welcome force in America. Back in the United States, it was a different story.
There was a fierce battle over who would control the country, but this battle could not be settled until the Chinese occupation of America ended and the second American Civil War began.
Just then, I woke up without knowing if or how it ever got resolved. It would be awful if that ever happened to us.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is: Why aren't we invading China before they attack us?
Or not.
The year was 2050 and China replaced the United States as the biggest military and economic power in the world.
Ever since the end of "The Wars of Aggression" led by the United States, the American people had become relatively non-violent isolationists.
China was the greatest authority in the world and used its vast economic and military strength to enforce policies around the globe as they saw fit.
The American population didn't like that the Chinese government had such a direct influence on their lives, but they weren't about to go to war over it - a war they would surely lose.
Then, an American extremist on business in Shanghai strapped some highly explosive C4 to his chest and blew up the first 10 floors of the World Financial Center, resulting in the death of thousands of Chinese businesspeople.
Needless to say, the Chinese government felt the safety of their people was being threatened by Christo-fascist extremists. They vowed to capture and kill every Christian terrorist on the face of the Earth.
So, China invaded the United States, overthrew their government, tortured and killed their citizens and occupied America until they could install a new pro-China government.
Meanwhile, stories were being published in Beijing that said the Chinese military was a welcome force in America. Back in the United States, it was a different story.
There was a fierce battle over who would control the country, but this battle could not be settled until the Chinese occupation of America ended and the second American Civil War began.
Just then, I woke up without knowing if or how it ever got resolved. It would be awful if that ever happened to us.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is: Why aren't we invading China before they attack us?
Or not.