2008 Woodie Awards
Graffiti work is low-grade of terrorism
Benjamin Billman
Issue date: 2/11/08 Section: Opinions
To the person/people who continue to amuse themselves by drawing swastikas in campus areas, you win.
You have proven yourself worthy of the attention that this act gets you.
After all, this is clearly a very original idea. No one has ever thought about drawing something hateful in public areas before. The work that must go into it is astonishing as well.
Instead of spending your time devoting your clearly impressive mental facilities to class work, you are spending that time with much more noble pursuits. I, personally, can't imagine the stress that must come when you are waiting for a quiet time.
Of course, you have this campus so scared at the moment that it must be getting easier. I have friends who are afraid to be out at night because of you.
It's taken me several days of thinking, but I have determined what we, as a campus, should call you. You are a terrorist.
You aren't even a good terrorist, because one of the scariest factors of terrorism is that the people committing the acts aren't afraid to hide themselves. So you are a low-grade terrorist. Small-fry, as it were.
Why don't you make your mark and then tell people that you did it? I tell you, that would certainly be impressive.
The real question is, what are you going to do next? I foresee you continuing this for another couple of weeks and then stopping, because I bet you aren't even a committed terrorist.
Then, someday long from now, when you are sitting at home thinking about how wonderful you used to be, that month or two when you held your university strangled in exasperation at what would happen next, I hope you get a warm feeling. Really, I do.
So here's to you, uncommitted, low-grade terrorist. You have certainly made things interesting for me and the rest of the students in the past few months. It's such a nice thing for you to do. If you don't understand sarcasm, then maybe you should re-read this.
You have proven yourself worthy of the attention that this act gets you.
After all, this is clearly a very original idea. No one has ever thought about drawing something hateful in public areas before. The work that must go into it is astonishing as well.
Instead of spending your time devoting your clearly impressive mental facilities to class work, you are spending that time with much more noble pursuits. I, personally, can't imagine the stress that must come when you are waiting for a quiet time.
Of course, you have this campus so scared at the moment that it must be getting easier. I have friends who are afraid to be out at night because of you.
It's taken me several days of thinking, but I have determined what we, as a campus, should call you. You are a terrorist.
You aren't even a good terrorist, because one of the scariest factors of terrorism is that the people committing the acts aren't afraid to hide themselves. So you are a low-grade terrorist. Small-fry, as it were.
Why don't you make your mark and then tell people that you did it? I tell you, that would certainly be impressive.
The real question is, what are you going to do next? I foresee you continuing this for another couple of weeks and then stopping, because I bet you aren't even a committed terrorist.
Then, someday long from now, when you are sitting at home thinking about how wonderful you used to be, that month or two when you held your university strangled in exasperation at what would happen next, I hope you get a warm feeling. Really, I do.
So here's to you, uncommitted, low-grade terrorist. You have certainly made things interesting for me and the rest of the students in the past few months. It's such a nice thing for you to do. If you don't understand sarcasm, then maybe you should re-read this.