Scott Stapp a failure at music, decency and life

There are no other words for how to start this off other than, I hate Scott Stapp. Not just dislike, I hold a pure animosity for the man.

If I was on my death bed, and someone asked me “what is the last thing you‘d like to do before you die?” I would reply to them “I’d like to punch Scott Stapp in the face.”

My life would then be complete.

Why do I not like him? Good question, I don’t think he’s a good singer.

He thinks he’s Eddie Vedder, I don’t care how many people you punch in a bar Scott Stapp to prove you’re not trying to be Eddie Vedder, you are.

You don’t do him justice. Eddie can sing, when he mumbles through songs its pure enjoyment, when Scott Stapp mumbles through songs I want to hit something anything thats in reach.

Sure Creed had some good songs. But when they broke up, its like Dr. Malcolm said in Jurassic Park “Dinosaurs had their shot, and nature ‘selected’ them for extinction.”

Change that to say “Creed had their shot, and music ‘selected’ them for extinction,” thank you Dr. Malcolm.

My biggest dream in life is for Stapp to just go away, he’s so narcissistic that he would get into a drunken fist fight with a mirror.

I think the mirror would win.

Then he’d write a song about it, and somehow bring Jesus into it.

His music makes my ears bleed, they just released an album, see review.

Scott Stapp is like the boyfriend who can’t stand to see his ex (in this case, exes) in a new successful relationship.

I almost expect him to say “Remember the good times guys? Remember how much fun we had recording Human Clay?”

The other members probably thinking he changed decided to give him another shot.

And Myles Kennedy, being the cool guy he is, decided to let them go, if it was meant to be for Alter Bridge they’d come back.

Personally I think he realized that he failed as a solo artist and needed the others to make money.

He saw how well they were doing in their current band, and remembered what the old days were like.

His name isn’t even legally Scott Stapp, Scott is his middle name.

I think Anthony Scott Flippen fits him better, then I could say Flippen Anthony Scott.

If Scott Stapp was my baby brother and I was stuck home babysitting him, I would wish the goblins would come and take him away- Right Now! Then all my troubles would be over.

Until of course David Bowie appeared as an owl and tried to make me run a labyrinth for him, stating that “You have 13 hours in which to complete this labyrinth until he becomes one of us, forever, such a pity.”

I would have to answer “Keep him, I mean it, and I don’t plan on getting lost in a labyrinth for him.”

If Scott Stapp were frozen in Carbonite and placed on Jabba the Hut’s wall as a decoration, and I was the one who got to decide if he stayed that way or not, he’d stay that way.

I would like to say that Mark Tremonti and the other members of Creed are all good people, and I really enjoy AlterBridge I really hope they get back together with Myles Kennedy soon.

All I want for Christmas is for AlterBridge to get back together. And for Scott Stapp to climb back into the hole he lived in for the past 13 years.

I don’t think thats too much to ask?