Avoid stress, put your trust in rest

Tracy Ust

My senior year in high school I thought I had an ulcer. While all my friends were sailing through their home ec. and pottery classes, I was juggling a schedule tougher than any I have ever had in college. I ate Tums by the fistfuls, trying to cure my mysterious stomachache.

Last year around finals week I had a permanent eye twitch. And although I am sure no one really noticed it, I felt like a circus freak. It didn't go away till I was done moving out of my room.

Tuesday night, I couldn't fall asleep until 2 a.m. I just lay in my bed thinking, "I need to sleep. I need to sleep" and listening to any little noise on my floor that was keeping me awake. Staying up that late is usually not too much of a problem for me, seeing as how I don't have any really early morning classes, but Wednesdays I have to work at 6 a.m.

Now, there are two reasons why these mysterious illnesses have graced me. Either: A) I am a hypochondriac or B) I am a victim of the dreaded stress.

I am pretty sure I am not a hypochondriac � I hate being sick and try to avoid it at all costs. I think I need to face the inevitable: I am a victim of stress.

My "ulcer" and eye twitch make sense with this explanation. Both occurred at very stressful times in my life when I had a lot going on. I am not so sure the same could be said about my panic attack the other night. It is only about four weeks into the new semester. I don't have any really hard classes. I hardly ever have homework. I am actually right on track with tasks at work and I think I've managed my time quite nicely this semester.

But I remember the thoughts that were going through my head as I lay awake Tuesday, staring at the ceiling.

I only have three months until I graduate and have to decide what to do with my life. Where am I going to work? Where am I going to live? At this point it feels like I will be living in my car, working at McDonald's.

Wednesday was a terribly busy day for me. Besides having to work at 6 a.m., I had a lot of planning, writing, editing and page designing to do at the paper. Plus I didn't have my homework for the day done and I was dead tired. Not to mention the fact that I had to work well into the wee hours of the morning Wednesday night.

To top that all off, I am about the most broke I have ever been. I never thought I would get so stressed out about money issues, but when I called my dad the other day and had to ask for money again (by the way, thanks Dad!) because I am about to go into the red, I felt foolish. Here I am, 22 years old. I should have money. But I don't, and that hurts.

On the bright side, while I was lying awake I vowed to spend more time tapping into my creativity. I always mean to take up an artsy hobby or write more poems or make something crafty, but I never really do.

I decided I am going to actively take up watercolors. I always thought that I have no artistic talent, but I have been sort of playing around with paints for the past week and I get lost in them. I was frustrated at first because I am such a perfectionist and watercolors can never turn out perfect. The colors run and mix and the paints drip and nothing turns out quite like I planned But, seriously, I could paint for hours.

Today I was surfing the Internet and I found an interesting quotation that I think makes perfect sense to people who are stressed or feel like they have taken on too much and have no free time. It says, "To rest is a sacred act of nourishment and solace that takes courage and trust."

When we get busy, it is often the rest we so need that gets neglected. We need to be brave enough to say no to things. For me, doing that always makes me feel guilty. But I always have to remember that my needs should come first. We also need to trust that taking a rest will be okay. Things will get done. People will understand. Believing that things will work out okay is one of the hardest things people who have trouble saying no have to face.

Take some time for yourself. Rest. Find something creative to do. Make sure you always allow time in your day where you can breathe. Doing these things might just prevent you from getting an ulcer, an eye twitch or an uncontrollable panic attack that keeps you awake all night long.

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Tracy Ust can be reached at: [email protected]

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