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Clinton humors SCSU crowd
 Media Credit: Jenni Rauchbauer/Contributing Photographer Political comedian Kate Clinton of New York performs to a crowd Thursday in the Kimberly A. Ritsche Auditorium. Her performance included stories about her life as a lesbian to the Sept. 11 tragedy to President George Bush.
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Proud to be a lesbian, Kate Clinton, comedian from New York, showed up Thursday night at Kimberly A. Ritsche Auditorium "thrilled to be here in the 'Land of the Huskies' and 10 degree below weather."
Clinton's performance, for some audience members, was a break from the 24-seven preoccupation of the Sept. 11 tragedy. Clinton worked with the emotions of the audience members. She took anger and pain and mixed it with humor. She wanted people to revitalize themselves.
Clinton also reminded the audience of a world before Sept. 11.
"Remember the president we didn't elect?" she said.
"I didn't know that the absentee ballets were treated like letters to Santa Claus," Clinton said. "It was a time. It didn't matter what you put in front of people, they'd eat it. They'd be watching CNN � you could have served Kibbles 'n Bits."
It was a time that Clinton started eating Cheetos.
"You could put a meal together with Cheetos," she said.
It also became a time that no one wanted to watch TV.
"So," Clinton said, "I was chosen as the designated Bush watcher � it's a tough job, but someone's got to do it."
Clinton reminded the audience about other issues to pay attention to other than the Sept. 11 disaster. These issues include education, gay rights, appropriate welfare for women and children and the environment.
She said that if people are going to zone in on Sept. 11, not only will America's thoughts be on the calamitous event, "Calamity" George will get billions of dollars and more for the war effort.
And speaking of war, Clinton remembered what "old soldiers" say about gays in the military � It will destroy the military.
"That's good," she said. "If lesbians would lead the country, there would be no war.
"When another country wants to go to war, we'd have a meeting," she said. "'Make sure it is wheel chair accessible, and then we'll talk.' And if we were the soldiers, uh uh, those cramps � not a good time to have a war."
Clinton told her fans what she experienced in the past, and what she had to go through.
"I must be the oldest living lesbian," she said. "When I was your age, there was The Lesbian Newsletter," Clinton said. "Now we got these glossy gay magazines � Out, Outloud, Outweek, Umlaut (a German lesbian magazine)."
Clinton recalled when she started out as a comedian. She called herself "a feminist humorist."
"Hmmm � feminist," she said. "Odd notion they have to make up a word to express that women have equal rights to men?
"And putting that word with humorist �- some people said, 'That's an oxymoron.' Well, they got half of it right."
Clinton also shared with the audience times she spent with her girlfriend.
"We went to therapy, you know," she said. "We talked about who gets to hold the remote. It should be the same person who's in charge of the Bar-B-Que.
"With therapy, we have skills now. I poke her and she clicks. We've had our biggest fights after therapy"
And the Olympics?
Clinton told a story about when she was watching the Olympics with her girlfriend, who said that all the contestants were gay. Clinton asked her girlfriend how she knew that.
"'They are,'" Clinton said about her girlfriend's response, "'and the referees are. And the audience members. What else would they be out there for?'"
Clinton also asked the audience if they thought Martha Stewart was gay. One member said "yes."
"She could make the world with four pipe cleaners in two days," Clinton said.
But when it comes to the gun issue, Clinton got serious.
"Only straight women should have guns," she said. "Lesbians have the bullets."
Clinton said she is for peace.
"Shhh. I know it's not a good time for us who believe in peace," she said. "It's another kind of coming-out. So, when you do come out � it's good practice."
To end the performance, Clinton told the audience "a great coming-out story" about a woman who told her parents she was going to live with another woman. Her father said he was happy with the decision because it would help save money. The mother told her daughter she was angry that she didn't tell them sooner, but thanked her for the opportunity to grow.
As for Clinton's audience Thursday, many were impressed.
"I enjoyed her social commentary on the political figures in the government," said Heather Grover, who recently graduated with her master's degree in social responsibility. "I thought it was insightful, especially what is being passed and railroaded through our government that we're not even noticing."
Heidi Aldes, Outloud education chair said Clinton's performance was entertaining.
"She gave reality but she lightened it up," Aldes said. "She made it easier to deal with the facts."
Tom Meyer can be reached at: [email protected]
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