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Sports
Moss needs a Sharpie
By Matt Janda
Published:
Thursday, October 17, 2002
Matt Janda -- Staff Column
If you're around sports people enough, you're bound to hear discussions about who's the best at what they do.
People love to rate pro athletes. After all, it's really what they're there for. Our love of entertainment makes them millionaires and everything they do gets blown out of proportion.
Both of these points bring me to one man, and he is hands-down the best wide receiver in the National Football League: Terrell Owens of the San Francisco 49ers.
Those who are close to this office know that most Minnesota Vikings players enjoy godlike status, as I find virtue and wisdom in everything that happens inside the organization. But there is one thing that is immediately visible to anyone who watches these two teams: Randy Moss, our immensely talented and flamboyant wide receiver, couldn't carry the sweatsocks of the Niners' immensely talented and flamboyant wide receiver.
It's alarming how much they have in common. Both are oversized, speedy, have good hands and every other tool that makes a good wide receiver. Both have been known to give their coaches as many headaches as opposing secondaries. And as for their antics, let's just say that if they were twins, Randy would be the evil one.
On the entertainment end, Owens is a comic genius to Moss' street pimp. Randy does things that would make real bad guys laugh and point. A quick refresher: in his four-plus years in purple, Moss has sprayed water on a referee, bawled out team sponsors, quit trying in the middle of several games (including one NFC Championship game) and most recently, took a traffic cop for an impromptu hood-ride in a car containing marijuana, all the while racking up more in fines than the GDP of Somalia. Though some of these acts have been individually entertaining, on the whole there is really very little value when it comes to showbusiness.
Owens, on the other hand, makes showing up his opponents an art form. In recent memory, Owens has not once, but twice run all the way to midfield to pose after scoring and more recently, took a Sharpie marker out of his sock and signed the ball before handing it to a fan. Let it be said that Owens' showboating is poor sportsmanship, because it is. But for entertainment value, nobody in sports can top T.O. And he won't even be fined for the autograph incident.
Perhaps the most crucial point in all of this is that Terrell's actions have all taken place following marvelous touchdowns, while Moss takes his shots when he's in a foul mood or hiding behind an offensive lineman.
What Randy needs to realize is that he's playing at a level where if he isn't totally enveloped by what he's doing, he won't be any good at it. Randy should know that if he played at his top level, like T.O. does every Sunday, then the punk-talk would stop and he would be free to taunt and act up on the field as much as he wants.
These men are professionals. When they're on the field, who cares if they taunt each other. They already beat each other half-to-death on a weekly basis.
Randy says he plays when he wants to play. If our guy enjoyed playing football as much as he seems to enjoy making himself look like an ass, he'd be the greatest of all-time in no time at all.
