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Commentary
Aggressive women stand proud
By Nissa Billmyer
Published:
Thursday, October 24, 2002
Media Credit: Staff
Nissa Billmyer -- Staff Essay
Anyone who has met me will undoubtedly remember me for a few specific reasons. The first reason ultimately being that I am a very short woman, a mere four foot ten inches.
However, a few other reasons include a defiant, stubborn personality. I am an individual. My uniqueness scares some, threatens others.
On first observation, I may appear innocent, perhaps average. If you take a moment to learn just a little about me, then you might find a little more than what you expected, like when you bite into a jalapeno and think it’s mild, when in reality you will be spitting hot sauce for the next three days.
You will find that I am very determined and focused. I am also a rebel in many ways. While these are good qualities for one to have, often for a woman of my stature that is not considered a good thing.
If I were a male, my firmness and aggressiveness would be rewarded. However, I find myself being penalized and looked down upon. When dealing with people in the “real world” I have come across many instances that had I been male, I would have been greeted with a warmer attitude.
In the recent past, I have experienced significant car troubles. While I admit I know little about mechanics, with the advice of parents and male friends, I was able to gather an idea of what was wrong and how the situation should have been handled. However, I am now financially in the hole because I am a woman.
I was aggressive about the situation, not an airhead, I was treated as the “crazy brat” and subsequently received unsatisfactory results. So unsatisfactory that I had to have the car towed back in at my expense to repair what the mechanics had worsened. Again, I was penalized financially where I shouldn’t have been.
So why didn’t I use my aggressiveness further? Because I have been routinely taught to smile, be polite and to not anger people, especially those who have their hands on my car. Those who were my ‘role models’ taught me that a proper young woman wouldn’t make a stink about things she knows nothing about.
While I agree to not tell someone how to do something I know nothing about, I do find that if it is painfully obvious that there can be something that should be done that isn’t. In other words, if the car still acts the same way, then I feel as though I should say something.
So when I do pipe up to something I feel is wrong, I am somehow penalized. I find this situation reoccurring in many areas of my life. I have stood up for things in my education only to have my grades used against me where it was obvious that it was wrong. Again I backed down because my subconscious said I wasn’t being proper.
So I have had enough of this. I have had it up to here, literally. I can only take so much.
I am encouraging all women who have worn the shoes of individuality, only to be avoided like the plague, to stand up and fight.
I refuse to take the rolled eyes and the blow-offs because I am a female. If I want to be determined and opinionated that is my right. No woman should feel that because she speaks her mind that she is any less of a woman.
This includes both sexes in this battle. I know of women who help enable the thought that women should not have opinions. No woman should feel helpless and powerless in her life. Regardless of what she has endured, be it rape, abuse of any form from anyone, every woman has the right to stand up for her own ways. So the next time you encounter such a situation, give your support in word or in action.
In the words of the great Dropkick Murphys in the song “Boys on the Docks,” “say hey ..., the battle call united we stand, divided we fall, together we are what we can’t be alone.”
