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Sports
Time to take a quiz on your sports I.Q.
By Adam Czech
Published:
Thursday, January 30, 2003
Adam Czech -- Staff Column
Sharpen your No. 2 pencils, turn your hats so your bills are facing backwards and make sure you fill in the circles under your name on the bubble sheet, it's time for a test in Professor Czech's Sports 101 class (anyone caught cheating will be forced to write "Mientkiewicz" 100 times on the chalkboard while watching replays of the World Cup).
1. Mike Tice did a ___ job in his first season as coach of the Vikings.
(A)Great (B)OK (C)Bad (D)At least Dennis Green was gone.
Correct answer: D. Prior to the start of the season, you probably would've found more football talent at an anti-war protest than at Vikings training camp. But as the season wore on, the Vikes kept playing hard and improving under Tice. While it's too early to call him the next Bud Grant - or Jerry Burns for that matter - Tice showed promise that, if given a group of solid players, he can do some good things.
2. How far will the Timberwolves advance in the playoffs?
(A)NBA Finals (B)Conference championship (C)Another first-round exit.
Correct answer: C. Give me a good reason why I should put money on the Wolves making it out of the first round this season? How is their team improved from all of the other first-round exits? They aren't. It will be the same old story: Kevin Garnett will try his best to carry the team by himself while his teammates stand around like yard gnomes. Hopefully Garnett doesn't take the heat for not being a big-time player like he did last year. Layoff. He's doing all he can.
3. Who is Evan going to pick on Joe Millionaire?
(A)Sarah (B)Zora (C)Melissa (D) Who cares?
Correct answer: D. Seriously, when is this reality show trend going to end? These shows are almost as annoying as Jared in the Subway commercials. Besides, it's obvious that Zora's going to win. At least that's what people tell me. I've never watched the show. Seriously.
4. The SCSU men's basketball team is ___.
(A)Better than last season (B) Worse than last season (C)The same as last season.
Correct answer: A. Forrest Witt, Alex Carlson and Jason Kron anchor a team that has exceeded expectations so far this season. The reason for the fast start? This is more of a team than last year's squad. Throw in the likes of Nate Miller, Matt Siegle and Steve Trull and this team could equal or surpass the success of the 2000-2001 squad. Then again, the lack of a consistent low-post and rebounding presence could catch up with them in the end.
5. How are the Twins going to be this season?
(A)Good (B)Bad (C)Mediocre (D) I only like the Twins for the bobble heads.
Correct answer: A. If they were good last season, why can't they be good again this season? It's basically the same group of players. The main difference will be in the competition. The Chicago White Sox have added Bartolo Colon to an already formidable pitching staff. Look for an actual pennant race between the Twins and the Sox this season with the Twins winning the division by two games.
6. Which of these four living things is the most intelligent?
(A)A hippopotamus (B)A llama (C)An ostrich (D)An NFL official.
Correct answer: A, B or C. Has instant replay caused NFL officials to try and catch up on their sleep during games because they know if they miss something they can stick their heads in the big black box and see it again? These folks in stripes running around the football field with whistles trying their best to impersonate Ray Charles not only cost the New York Giants a win in the Wild Card round but also cost me $5 in a wager with my dad. A hippopotamus, a llama or an ostrich has never caused me to lose money before.
7. Is NASCAR a sport?
(A)Yes (B)No (C)Depends on how many cases of Miller Lite you've had.
Correct answer: B. We've gone over this before so there's no excuse for getting this question wrong. If any student answered this question wrong in the past, I used to make them bathe in Jeff Gordon's old motor oil. However, I discontinued this policy because too many NASCAR fans were purposely giving wrong answers.
