Love means more than Valentine's

Debbie Peterson -- Staff Column

Valentine's Day makes me think about love, even if I think that this day would not be celebrated if companies like Hallmark, Godiva or Victoria's Secret didn't financially benefit.

And then I think about how complicated love actually is.

Disney lied to me. Growing up I had visions of princes and perfection. Everything was supposed to work out perfectly. Snow White and Sleeping Beauty never had their hearts broken, never said something false or irrational under the influence of jealousy or had a job, school or even friends to distract them.

All humans want love, even if they don't completely realize it. Deep down everyone wants to have that bond that the movies glorify, that the books write about. But no matter how much we want it, this love seems uncommon today, at least with the first try.

Being attracted to someone else is not hard, neither is it to difficult too talk to a person and get to know them. But the facts show that it's not so easy to maintain that initial relationship continuously over time.

According to research made by the Heritage Foundation (www.heritage.org), approximately 50 percent of all first marriages currently end in divorce. A few years after her first divorce, my mother told me, "love and marriage are never what you'll expect them to be. They take serious commitment and effort."

I used to think that modern humans had lost their ability to love and cherish, and stay true to their vows, especially in comparison to past decades. The Heritage foundation also documents that in 1960, only 16 percent of first time marriages ended in divorce.

Yet, just because people didn't divorce doesn't mean that the marriages were better and that people were actually in love, it possibly just meant that there was a greater social taboo against divorces. I've read many recounts of marriages where a husband and wife lived happy and separate lives until the end of their days.

Love creates all levels of emotion from frustration, heartache and sorrow to joy, bliss and acceptance. It even leads to physical pleasure. That one word encompasses so many different feelings, both good and bad, but yet is still completely appealing.

I guess love wouldn't be glorified as much as it is if it wasn't hard. If we could order love from a drive-thru, it really wouldn't be such a fundamental part of the human experience. Though there are bumps and wrong turns along the way, the final destination is worth the travel.

Debbie Peterson can be reached at
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