News
Briefly
Calendar of Events
Commentary
Opinions
Sports
Diversions
World News
Login
Letter Submission
Search
Archive
Publishing Policy
Classifieds
Mail Subscriptions
St. Cloud State University
College Publisher
Home
>
Sports
Opener leads to improvisation
Typical fun at a Twins opener was soured when Minnesota was blown out by Toronto
By Andy Rennecke
Published:
Monday, April 7, 2003
Andy Rennecke -- Sports Editor
MINNEAPOLIS - Five days ago, I couldn't wait for the baseball season to begin.
However, the 2003 Minnesota Twins home opener was easily the most mundane game I've ever watched at the Metrodome. As usual I over-hyped the event in my mind, but prior to Friday's snooze-fest against the Toronto Blue Jays, every home opener I'd attended was nothing short of sheer delight.
The Twins struggled to get anything going at the plate, starting pitcher Rick Reed gave up his typical long bombs (three Jays went yard off his meat wagon arm) and sadly, the best part of the game was the pregame introductions in the 7-2 loss. This was all very unexpected since the Twins had started the season with a sweep against the hapless Detroit Tigers and were predicted to finish in first place in virtually every baseball preview publication you read. Never did I expect the Twins to lose their home opener, to any team.
Despite all of this frustration out on the field, my friends and I managed to have a great time thanks to some liquor and a lot of food. I filled up on a large pretzel and a cheese cup, a strawberry sundae in a mini Twins helmet, a Dome Dog, French fries and a bag of Old Dutch potato chips. After eating I was quite bloated, but I still managed to down some $6, 16 oz. Mike's Hard Lemonades.
All of this food and alcohol cost me over $50, courtesy of Carl Pohlad's overblown prices to salvage every penny he can get out of the money he'll lose this season with his team's $55 million payroll. I managed to get a buzz going after drinking four refreshing lemonades, which is when the fun began.
First, two of my buddies and I (they weren't drunk, but you should've been Jimmy and Paige) started to antagonize two women who kept holding up a sign that read, "It's OK Kirby, we all make mistakes." Of course the sign was in reference to Kirby Puckett's recent struggles with the law. We yelled in response to that incorrect sign, "He's not guilty. He was too fat to fit in the stall. NOT GUILTY."
Eventually, they responded to us in true ballpark behavior and indicated they wanted to box us in the aisles between sections 230 and 231. We didn't retaliate, but just maintained a friendly banter between them adding the occasional comparisons of Puckett to O.J. Simpson.
The next excitement came in the top of ninth inning when our favorite pitcher came in: Mike "Bulldog" Fetters. We started to chant "Fetters, Fetters," and were greeted with stares of confusion from people nearby (it was either that, or they were staring at my newly purchased Twins headband). I did an imitation of Fetters' patented stare, while Jimmy and Paige continued to chant his name. It doesn't get any better than cheering on a psychotic old reliever that no one cares about.
To cap off the night, fans received free six-packs of Pepsi Twist and Diet Pepsi Twist on the way out of the Dome. We grabbed as many as we could and at last count we ended up with five six-packs. Any time free beverages are available; I'm going to jump at the chance to take them.
The moral of all of this is to invent your own fun when a baseball game you're watching doesn't go the way you had hoped. Engage in verbal spats with other fans, cheer on the most worthless players and wear T.C. headbands instead of the typical baseball cap. It may annoy some of the other fans in attendance, but most of the time you'll have your section (in this case 231) rolling in laughter at your antics.
Make it fun for yourself and everybody else that's bored senseless.
(Sorry Danielle and Tabby, it had to be done.)
Forum:
No comments have been posted for this story.
Post a comment
Privacy Policy
Network Advertising
Article Syndication
