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It's been a summer to remember
By Ben Birnell
Published:
Thursday, September 4, 2003
If I didn't know any better, I'd say the apocalypse is upon us.
With lawsuits, drug use and controversy galore this past summer, one has to wonder whether hell is about freeze over or it was just an abnormal summer.
In case you've been living under a rock, nothing in the sporting world has seemed to go even remotely the way it should. This past summer, if you're like me, has left you shaken and maybe even a little scarred for your life.
So where do I begin? How 'bout the surprising Kansas City Royals and their run to first place in the otherwise dull American League Central (okay, so they're slipping right nowbut for the last few months it was huge news).
Sticking with the subject of the baseball, George Steinbrenner cried. Yes, seriously cried after Derek Jeter and Alfonso Soriano were hit by pitches from Pedro Martinez. A writer for the New York Times quoted "The Boss" about his now infamous bawling, "I'm getting older. As you get older you do this more." What? I've always recognized Steinbrenner as old ever since I could recognize him, but for him to cry? Wow.
But, like I said, unless you've been living under a rock you'd know that this wasn't just a one time thing, but just the beginning of a summer that started off crazy and no doubt will never end.
Ah yes, then there's Randall Simon who added a little fuel to the summer fire and decided he didn't have enough batting practice before a game with the Milwaukee Brewers. At the precise moment that a woman dressed in a sausage costume ran by the Pirates' dugout, Simon came to the conclusion he would "tee-off" so to speak.
A 21-year-old rookie took the Majors by storm (Dontrelle Willis) and Dusty Baker put on seminars from reporters and anyone else listening of the heat-bearing qualities between Caucasians and African-Americans.
Then there was the ever-popular story of Sammy "Say it isn't" Sosa. I wonder if "Slammin' Sammy" has any problems corking his champagne now.
Even basketball wasn't safe as Portland's Damon Stoudamire gave a whole new meaning to the words "Trail Blazer" after he was caught going through an airport metal detector with one-and-half ounces of marijuana wrapped in aluminum foil, fined and told go to back to school to learn "Transporting Drugs 101."
There's Kobe Bryant, who decided he wanted to be larger than life and wanted "convicted felon" added to his resume. But, unfortunately, the "Bill Clinton Rule" didn't work as well as Mr. Bryant planned and a court case could drag through the New Year. And to think now you can put "Kobe Bryant" and "Mike Tyson" in the same sentence after all.
On the home front, the Timberwolves decided they wanted to give some die-hard fan (this writer) a massive coronary and actually obtained a starting five worth getting past the first round. We "received" Latrell Sprewell who very well could be the next Dennis Rodman and kick some vulnerable cameraman sitting on the Target Center floor.
My favorite story, or collection of stories, involves one Carmelo Anthony. Carmelo found time after being drafted by the Denver Nuggets and winning an ESPY to thank himself. Somebody, please tell '"Melo" that their neighbors (the Avalanche) have a better chance of winning 20 games than the Nuggets do.
Sergei Federov decided to go against all logic and signed with the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim. Hey, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, I guess. Yeah, somebody got together and decided the summer of 2003 was a good time to start the apocalypse.
But a few good things did come out of the summer of 2003 that may postpone the apocalypse.
Lance Armstrong turned out a fifth consecutive win in France. Word is, the heads of the race are thinking about changing the name to "Le Tour De Lance." Two athletes decided to be unconventional and give up their day jobs and put their lives on the line to join the U.S. Army after being shaken by the events of September 11. Brothers Pat and Kevin Tillman chose to serve their country in its time of need instead of playing for multi-million dollar contracts.
That's right, no dog days of summer this year, and you know what? We couldn't have been treated to a better summer.
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