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St. Cloud State University
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Infidelity, the modern way: via cell phone
By Jill Schoepf
Published:
Thursday, October 2, 2003
While reading the local newspaper this week, I came across an article titled "Cell Phones Reveal Italian Adulterers." It explained how spouses discover affairs through hidden text messages and unknown numbers stored in a cell phone's memory. One study found that cell phones were involved in nine of every 10 discovered affairs in Italy.
I was only mildly interested in the article until I found myself reading about "Five Golden Rules" to avoid getting caught in a cell phone affair. Yes indeed, an Italian investigation agency headed by Miriam Tomponzi has suggested five tricks to keeping your affair hidden. These tips include deleting call records and faking a business conversation when your lover calls unexpectedly.
The article was meant to inform us of the tactics lovers use to conduct an affair. But it shows us a lot more than that. It reflects the values many people in society have come to hold.
What values are these? Honesty? Respect? I guess not. Maybe selfishness? Mistrust? Deception? That sounds a bit more like it. And I wonder, is it worth it? Is it worth the time and effort to cover up something that will probably end up ruining a relationship anyway? Is it worth the guilt? The constant rush of fear that you'll be found out by your sweetheart? Wait a second - does that mean you actually care what your sweetheart will think? Was that why you wanted to have a relationship with them in the first place - because you valued them? Because they love you?
I looked up Miriam Tomponzi's agency online. Ironically, she investigates infidelities. Her website reads, "To find out if your spouse is betraying your marriage and trust, is fundamental in order to continue living a normal happy life."
Thanks for the advice, Ms. Tomponzi. But it's a bit difficult to discover a spouse's betrayal when they are following your "Five Golden Rules."
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