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Panel encourages self-love
By Jennifer Frey
Published:
Thursday, November 13, 2003
Media Credit: Christin Osgood
Melissa Grittner (left) listens as Alicia Nichols (right) shares her opinion and experience of self-love. Nichols and Grittner were two of four women on a panel for this week´s Women On Wednesday.
Have you ever gone into a restaurant and seen someone eating alone? Do you feel sorry for them and assume they have no one to eat with? Perhaps that person truly loves him or herself and enjoys their own company.
This week's Women on Wednesday presentation featured a panel of women who love who they are. The four women converted their life experiences into tips on how to love yourself.
"The Women's Center staff chose women we saw as confident, passionate and savvy; women with something to offer," said Jane Olson, coordinator of the Women's Center.
Alicia Nichols, junior, agreed to be on the panel in spite of her nervousness.
"I don't really know that the skills I have used to be at peace with myself will work for other women, but if I can empower someone else, then that's great," Nichols said.
With self-esteem and body image being such a strong issue to women, the need for self-love is important.
"Standards of ourselves get set so high that we are striving to achieve perfection and end up criticizing ourselves when we fall short," Nichols said.
"Girls are not taught what they can do for themselves, but instead, how they look through the eyes of others," added panelist senior Enanga Fale.
The unanimous suggestion for enjoying your own company is simple: give yourself time to be alone with you. Whether it's being alone in your home, going to a movie or eating dinner out, try to do it by yourself.
"You can listen to the music you want and eat what you want because no one is there who has to share your interests," said panelist and senior Melissa Grittner.
"Throughout the day I'm giving me to everyone else so when I go home, it's time for me," said panelist and senior Decontee Kofa.
Grittner stressed loving all the little parts that make you who you are. While you don't have to like everything about you, try to accept that it makes you unique.
"I compete with myself instead of with other people," said Grittner. "I look at my own accomplishments rather than wanting to be better than someone else."
Try writing down a few attainable goals for each day, suggested Fale. By seeing the goals in writing, you can visualize achieving them. Being able to cross off your goals provides a sense of accomplishment and motivates you to come up with new ones.
Each of the panelists overcame a time when they didn't love who they were. By realizing their lack of self-love, they were able to take a pro-active stance and change the way they saw themselves.
"They were all really good about sharing their personal stories," said sophomore Shelly Hadley.
"You have to spend time with yourself and reward yourself for things; go get yourself a Christmas present," Kofa said.
Sometimes it takes other people to show you how great you really are. Surround yourself with strong people who have qualities that you want to possess, suggested Kofa. Make sure you tell other people what your worth is, rather than wait for them to decide your value for you.
"When you take on more than you can handle you become stressed," Grittner said. "It's okay to say, 'No, I can't do all this at once and I'm not going to.'"
The most important thing is to learn to be with you and be around positive people who look on the bright side of things, Fale said. They can help you get through the times when you doubt who you are.
"It was really nice to hear because sometimes I think I'm alone not loving myself but now I know I am not," junior Theo Rwey said.
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