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Motherly instincts kick into gear
I have never been a fan of children. I didn't have any baby brothers, sisters or cousins while I was growing up and I never baby-sat. For as long as I can remember I have been annoyed by children and their whiny voices, always crying for something, never keeping their spaghetti-stained mouths closed. But because to recent events, I think I've changed.
My wonderful cousin Mark and his beautiful wife Kate just gave birth to an indescribable baby boy last weekend, Nolan. I love my cousins and have always found Kate to be a most amusing in-law, one who I'm comfortable being goofy around, so I was giddy when she became pregnant last year.
Kate, a petite woman, gradually developed a lovely round tummy and and heightened taste for meat. Even thought she eventually had to remove her bellybutton ring, even though she suffered kidney problems and needed a stint placed in her back, and even though she couldn't drink beer for nine months, Kate never lost her spirited smile. If anything, her warmth as a person grew just as the baby was growing inside her. Sound cheesy yet? Oh, just wait for it.
Kate and Mark didn't want to know the sex of the baby ahead of time, which I think is awesome. There's so much more suspense when important things are left a mystery. Of course, this made it a little more difficult to shop for them when everything having to do with babies is either pink or blue. It's a good thing they decided to go with a Noah's Arc theme for the baby's room. Then people could buy them baby outfits with lions, tigers and alligators on them to represent the neutral colors of yellow, orange and green.
At the baby shower, the final game was picking the gender, length and weight of the baby as well as the time and date of birth. Kate's due date was set for Jan. 21, but I figured she would deliver before that because of her small size. For years my lucky number has been 16, because of Doug Mientkiewicz. I went with it and lo and behold, little Nolan was born the day after, Jan. 17.
Of course I was stoked when I heard the news that I won the game but, I honestly wasn't prepared for feeling much more than that.
The next day my aunt, a grandmother for the first time, sent out pictures of Nolan. When I saw him, this person that wasn't out in the open just 24 hours earlier, I started to cry. And there was Kate, lying in the hospital bed with this pink-face, minature thing swimming in a blanket. (I can hardly call Nolan a person because he's so different to me, almost otherworldly.) Kate had no make-up on, her hair was messed up and she looked exhausted, the last signs of labor pains leaving her eyes. But I've never seen her look more beautiful. She looked like a mother.
I met baby Nolan and held him Sunday. It was the first time I had ever held a baby in my whole life. He is already so smart with his bright eyes taking in all of his surroundings. When he first came into my lap he just looked at me with eyebrows wrinkled like tiny peach prunes. I could feel him studying me and it was amazing.
I know I'm a girl so I should naturally feel drawn toward children because of my motherly instincts, so to speak. But anyone who knows me understands that children just aren't my specialty. When I see one I don't go into hyper-mother-mode and start making noises and faces for them to laugh at. Give me a kid to entertain and I'll just stare at it, feeling awkward as if we were on a first date, except I have to get in his pants to change his poopy diapers.
Now I want one. Well, not now this very moment (I bet my parents are freaking out now). But for the first time in my life I am sure that I want to have a family later on. Not because society tells me to and not because it's my job to reproduce. Life is a miracle and I want to make one happen someday. Is that cheesy enough?
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